What could you do, to nurture your inner child today?
I am a Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner (SEP) and Integrative Therapist, and have an avid interest in trauma and all things nervous-system-regulation. I use various tools from my therapeutic toolbox, to help meet your current needs, looking to the cause and not just the symptoms of your discontent or distress. *SE® is a gentle and embodied practice that allows us to integrate past unresolved stress or trauma, which is stored in the body, so we are able to live a more fulfilled life, moving from fixity to flow. I strongly feel this bottom-up approach is essential to fulfilling our true potential without masking, pushing through or over-riding our truest selves. We do this by bringing more regulation to the nervous system.
I am an experienced Psychosexual Therapist and Relationship Therapist, with a Diploma in Relationship Counselling (DiRC) & a Diploma in Sex & Relationship Therapy (DipSRT), gained from Relationships Scotland, Edinburgh. As such, I am qualified to see couples or Individuals who are experiencing difficulties in their relationships or would like to explore, change and/or enhance their current situation or who feel their relationships have reached crisis point.
My Sex Therapy practice, aligned with Somatic Experiencing® can help with sexual dysfunction, such as (but not limited to): erectile dysfunction; delayed ejaculation; lack of intimacy; painful sex; vulval pain; vaginismus; porn use that impacts you and/or your relationship negatively.
Key themes I see in practice include subjects such as: anxiety; affairs; depression; family issues; feeling overwhelmed; financial worries; lack of connection; lack of intimacy; life changes and loss (such as bereavement – including pets, illness, menopause, redundancy); low self-esteem; issues around porn usage; issues around sex; stress; trauma; accidents; chronic pain.
I believe the best therapy happens when the relationship between Client and Therapist clicks and when the Client comes with an open mind and the willingness to discover. I firmly believe the body holds the answers to the resolution we seek – we just need the space and the right environment, in which to hear or see or feel these answers. In Somatic Experiencing® we use various channels to listen; understand and resolve discomfort, in the form of SIBAMSensation; Image; Behaviour; Affect and Meaning.
I am currently practicing online and via telephone and my consultations are one hour long and cost £75. Often weekly sessions work well, but this arrangement can be more flexible if this does not suit your situation. And, you may only want to come for one session. I currently use the Zoom platform for online sessions and have successfully completed an 80+ hours Certificate in Online and Telephone Counselling from the Counselling Tutor.
I am a member of the following professional bodies: SEAUK.org; COSRT; COSCA & BACP and as such, I model my Practice on the ethical guidelines laid out between the various membership bodies.
>I do not see children or adolescents nor clients who are actively misusing alcohol or drugs at the time of our scheduled appointments<
If you have a complaint about my service which you believe breaches COSCA’s code of ethics, I would be happy to discuss with you in the first instance or you can contact the organisation directly at www.cosca.org.uk
* More on Somatic Experiencing®
THE SCIENCE
Trauma may begin as acute stress from a perceived life-threat or as the end product of cumulative stress. Both types of stress can seriously impair a person’s ability to function with resilience and ease. Trauma may result from a wide variety of stressors such as accidents, invasive medical procedures, sexual or physical assault, emotional abuse, neglect, war, natural disasters, loss, birth trauma, or the corrosive stressors of ongoing fear and conflict. My favourite definition of Trauma is: too much; too soon; too fast. An experience we have had (this may be from our very infant days of living with parents who were mis-attuned to our needs or indeed something happening to us in utero or during our birth) that has been overwhelming to us (and to our nervous systems) is ultimately stored in the body, at a cellular and visceral level and can really shape our behaviour unconsciously, fixing our responses to certain situations. Developmental trauma does not necessarily equate to caregivers not loving us, although sometimes we deeply feel that was the case, but more that our individual needs were not met and therefore we adapted our behaviour to maintain the attachment to those who looked after us, in order to survive.
Somatic Experiencing® can help move us from this fixity to flow, thereby freeing our nervous systems to act according to the situation that arises in the here and now and not responding in a fixed way that may not generate the best outcome for us. For some people this can look like being struck silent when confrontation arises, and then afterwards beating self up over not being able to fight your corner. It may also look like always being quick to defend or jump to aggression, when on reflection you don’t understand why you felt so enraged or mad about the situation. It may look like acting out – by drinking to excess; abusing drugs; finding self in unsafe situations; abusing self sexually; overthinking; catastrophising; shutting down or withdrawing; procrastinating; being super-busy and ignoring the need to take a break or rest etc. etc. Stuck survival stress or energy can manifest in so many different ways and Somatic Experiencing® is a gentle way of building capacity for the body to discharge or integrate the stuck, thwarted processes, allowing us to show up differently in our relationships to self and to others.
HOW IT WORKS
The Somatic Experiencing® approach facilitates the completion of self-protective motor responses and the release of thwarted survival energy bound in the body, thus addressing the root cause of trauma symptoms. This is approached by gently guiding clients to develop increasing tolerance for difficult bodily sensations and suppressed emotions.
Dr. Peter Levine (the founder of Somatic Experiencing®) was inspired to study stress on the animal nervous system when he realised that animals are constantly under threat of death, yet show no symptoms of trauma. What he discovered was that trauma has to do with the third survival response to perceived life threat, which is freeze. When fight and flight are not options, we freeze and immobilise, like “playing dead.” This makes us less of a target. However, this reaction is time-sensitive, in other words, it needs to run its course, and the massive energy that was prepared for fight or flight gets discharged, through shakes and trembling. If the immobility phase doesn’t complete, then that charge stays trapped, and, from the body’s perspective, it is still under threat. The Somatic Experiencing® method works to release this stored energy and turn off this threat alarm that causes severe dysregulation and dissociation. SE® helps people understand this body response to trauma and work through a “body first” approach to healing.
Contact me
Please note, I practice privately on Tuesdays; Wednesdays and Thursdays & am able to respond during these days.
You can text or leave a voicemail for me on 07970 501 088 or send me a message on counsellorally@gmail.com
Planned breaks from Practice for 2023/24 are as follows:
From Tuesday 17th October 2023 returning Tuesday 31st October 2023
From Tuesday 19th December 2023 returning Tuesday 9th January 2024
